Joke of the Week

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers.  The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.  An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and order three more.  This happens yet again.

The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times.  Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.  Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town.  “I don’t mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?”  “Tis odd, isn’t it?” the man replies, “you see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia.  We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond.”  The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.  Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers.  The bartender pours them with a heavy heart.  This continues for the rest of the evening – he orders only two beers.  The word flies around town.  Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.  The next day, the bartender says to the man, “Folks around here , me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your Brother.  You know-the two beers and all…..” The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, “You’ll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well…… It’s just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent.”

St Wilfrid’s Children’s Liturgy

St Wilfrid’s Children’s Liturgy – Unfortunately due to the Coronavirus we are unable to meet until Masses are resumed and so we are making lessons available online through items that you can read and lesson activities you can do at home.  If your children would like to show their work to the rest of the congregation who view the site from their homes, if you could email a copy to Sophie at [email protected] .   Please visit our Church Website at https://saintsgeorgeandwilfrid.co.uk/

Foodbanks

Foodbanks:

If you are still able to donate non-perishable food and money to the foodbanks over the coming months.  There are opportunities to donate online, or our website to make this easier for people.  Immediate food needs for Hailsham Foodbank are tinned tomatoes and vegetables, this will probably change week to week. For more updates visit www.hailsham.foodbank.org.uk

JOKE OF THE WEEK

JOKE OF THE WEEK

priest spied a parishioner enjoying some tasty smoked sausage on Friday during Lent — a strict no-no in the Church. The priest, being a pragmatic soul, told the man for his penance he was to bring a load of lumber to the church to help repair the roof.  The man grumbled but went off to do his penance. He arrived at the church on the next Friday and proceeded to dump a huge load of sawdust into the parking lot. “What’s this?” the priest wanted to know. “I told you your penance was a load of lumber, not sawdust.” The man replied cooley, “Well, if that sausage I ate was meat, then this sawdust is lumber.

Pope Francis Said

POPE FRANCIS SAID

Tonight before falling asleep think about when we will return to the street.

When we hug again, when all the shopping together will seem like a party.

Let’s think about when the coffees will return to the bar, the small talk, the photos close to each other.

We think about when it will be all a memory but normality will seem an unexpected and beautiful gift.

We will love everything that has so far seemed futile to us. Every second will be precious.

Swims at the sea, the sun until late, sunsets, toasts, laughter.

We will go back to laughing together.

Strength and courage.

Mothering Sunday

If you read the readings for the 4th Sunday of Lent I am sure you will notice notice that the readings make no mention of a woman. Surely the mother of the sons would have been involved in the welcome home and would certainly have been a key player in the preparations for the party. I am sure you all know that this Sunday is Mothering Sunday. Mothers, we honour you this day and every day. We thank you, and we thank God for giving you to us and for endowing you with the spirit of giving, caring, nurturing, loving, and (when necessary) letting go.

There is a prayer which is one you can say at any time, but, it is very appropriate for Mothering Sunday, while quietly giving thanks for your own mother. “God our Mother and Father, rid our hearts and minds of all feelings and attitudes which do not reflect your loving kindness. Bless all mothers. Reward them for their sacrifice and their faithfulness to your image. We thank you for our mothers and for that part of you we have received through them. Finally, we pray that you will never let us forget how much our mothers and wives have given us. We ask this, emboldened by your Holy Spirit, through Christ our Lord. Amen”

An urgent call for prayer and support

An urgent call for prayer and support for Christians in Bethlehem has come from charities which are warning that coronavirus lockdown could plunge the faithful into desperate poverty.  The Palestinian Authority has declared a state of emergency and put Bethlehem in lockdown.  All tourists are banned and the Church of the Nativity and other places of worship in Bethlehem remain closed.  Tourism is Bethlehem’s main industry and is the lifeline of the city’s economy with around two million visitors last year, but now the streets are emptyPlease pray for all the people of Bethlehem who have been indirectly affected, those losing their jobs, for the many families who, in an already difficult and precarious situation, are now facing even greater economic and social difficulties.

St George’s Church

St George’s Church –  A big thank you to the cooks, the helpers and all who attended our two Lenten Lunches.  Through your generosity, hard work, great cooking and friendship, you have raised £191.18. for your chosen charities.  It is sad that we cannot carry on with the lunches, but let’s look forward with hope to next year.  With love and thanks, Margaret.