Category: Church Events

Deacon John Writes

Recently I have written about the Holy Spirit. There are seven gifts of the Holy Spirit so over the next few weeks by way of relaxation, I will present some jokes which are based on these gifts:

B. The Gift of Understanding:

1) A Primary school teacher was observing the children in her classroom while they drew pictures.  She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork.  As she came to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” — Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, “They will in a        minute.”

2) “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the Church, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday School class. “NO!” the children all answered. “If I cleaned the Church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?” Again, the answer was, “NO!” “Well, then, if I were kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked them again. Again, they all answered, “NO!” “Well,” I continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?” A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!”

Deacon John Writes

Recently I have written about the Holy Spirit. There are seven gifts of the Holy Spirit so over the next few weeks by way of relaxation, I will present some jokes which are based on these gifts:

A. The Gift of Wisdom

1) Four-year-old Amanda was taken to the doctor’s office with a fever.  The doctor looked in her ears and asked, “Who’s in there?  Donald Duck?” she said, “No.”  He looked in her open mouth, “Who’s in there?  Mickey Mouse?” Again, she said, “No.”  He put his stethoscope on her heart and asked, “Who’s in there?  Barney?” — Amanda replied, “No, Jesus is in my heart.  Barney is in the pocket of my underwear.”

2) “Where there’s smoke…” There is an old joke about a man who asked his priest whether it was okay to smoke while he prayed. His priest said, “Absolutely not! When you pray, you should be completely devoted to prayer!” So the man went to another priest, but he changed his question, “Would it be okay to pray while I smoke?” “Yes, of course” was the answer.

3) Qualifications?  Several years ago in Germany,  a Bishop was questioning the children who were about to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation: “Who can administer the sacrament of confirmation?” he asked. A young girl          answered: “Any bishop, once he’s attained the age of reason!”

The Diocese Marriage and Family Life Adviser

The diocese Marriage and Family Life Adviser,   Katherine Bergin, has worked with a range of contributors to create a fantastic brand-new newsletter aimed at diocesan grandparents.  We have made several copies of the newsletter available at the back of church for anyone wishing to read it.  Please do leave them for others to read after you.  

Martin Falkner Writes

For myself and I am sure I speak for my fellow parishioners in St George’s and St Wilfrid’s, I want to express heartfelt thanks and our deepest gratitude to our very own Fr Rory.   Also, many congratulations upon achieving 50 years of   devoted service.

For over 18 years, Fr Rory has given an unwavering dedication to our community and continues to be a shining        example of faith.  His guidance and support have touched the lives of countless individuals.  We are truly blessed to have him as a spiritual leader.  Fr Rory’s compassion, wisdom and selfless service have made a profound impact upon our parish and we are forever grateful for his presence in our lives. Thankyou Fr Rory for your steadfast commitment to spreading love, hope and grace to all of those around you.  You are truly a man of faith and we are honoured to have you as our Catholic priest.  You have been a guiding light in our spiritual journey. You have left a lasting impact upon our spiritual journey together.

We should all strive to serve each other by recalling Our Lord’s example.  John described this when he wrote in his  gospel, “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.  If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them”. (John 13:14-17).

Finally, on behalf of all those whom have known Fr Rory over his 50 years since he became a priest in 1974, a message from me:

Mile buiochas Rory as gach a dheanann tu duinn. Go mbeannaitear thu le blianta fada eile na dea-shlainte. Bain sult as do jubilee.

Go mbeannai Dia.